The Importance of Rituals

On our wind through Allegheny Forest, Wil and I had lots of time to talk.  One of the topics of discussion is something that’s been on a mind a lot lately – ritual.  Specifically, seasonal rituals. 

We grunge era Gen Xers were a disaffected lot.  We observed an obvious disparity between the Reaganomics Recession and the homogenous suburbia of our parents’ generation.  It appeared to us that the counterculture hippies had traded in their tie-dye for beige splitlevels and Baby Gaps.  So with the help of REM and Kurt Cobain, we were skeptical, disillusioned.  We wanted to break through our parents’ plasticine, roboitic, whitewashed world and connect with something real and tangible.

All rituals took a hit.  Holidays particularly; they were the creation of Hallmark, Toys-R-Us, Hersheys, and churches, all carefully crafted to be huge money-makers.  The holidays were robotic, empty.  Had someone explained to me why holidays and rituals are important, I would have rolled my eyes and scoffed.  Ultimately, I had to come to understand their appeal on my own. 

A few months ago, a friend of mine suffered the loss of a grandmother, and then just recently married the love of his life.  These two very important rituals were infused with meaning.  They helped to crystallize the role of other milestones in my life.

All funerals are rough, but this one also felt important – important to mourn as a group, to take a moment and discuss the impact and worth of this life.  Some participants appeared blind with numbness and disconnected from the present – so lost in their sorrow that they were only vaguely aware a ritual was even being performed.  But by coming together and sharing the passing of the moment, we recognized and touched, on some level, the reality of time and life passing.

I watched Nate and Steph as they planned their wedding.  The headaches of coordinating, scheduling, and paying bill after bill hardly seemed worth one single event.  Why not elope and be done with it?  The event was important to Nate and Steph.  As I watched, I understood.  The white dress, the unity candle, the rings – it all tapped into this river of energy, flowing through their family and loved ones, and infused the shared experience of the present.  They passed a threshold – time has moved another step.

With all of this in mind, drinking a pumpkin spice latte in late September takes on a whole new meaning.  Going to Soergel’s for fresh apples and eating butternut squash soup at Brueggers may be a result of seasonal marketing, but it’s also a connection to the earth.  Bringing out the harvest decorations isn’t a mindless or mechanical action – it’s a participation in the collective energy surrounding a milestone of time, of season.  Rituals are authentic.  They allow us to process events and time on a human level.  Through these rituals and holidays, we are participating in life itself.